Today at church I was super upset because like drama with my teachers and guilt and Jesus and “show me a sign” the usual stuff. Then I came home to find an unusual car parked in front of my house and figured it was one of my mom’s many boyfriends. So I kept driving and went to the park. I called my friend from middle school who I haven’t talked to in about a year. He came over and walked around with me and told me all about all the girls he’s had sex with and how great Amsterdam is because free weed and prostitutes. I got tired of him being so anti-the-word-of-God so we split our ways and I was going to go home, but the car was still there. So I kept driving and went to Whole Foods because that’s where I go when I have no where else to go. I buy a bunch of shit at Whole Foods, drive to another park, and sit in my car and eat and cry. Well leaving the house is always a bit of a difficult experience for me because anxiety and I’m terrified I’m going to run into one specific teacher. So walking into the store is normal routine and I’m all like, “If I see this teacher, I’m going to tell her what’s going on and ask to talk. Actually if I see any teacher I know I’ll probably talk to them.” Then there was more “God, show me a sign” stuff and “I need help, please let me run into one of my teachers” and then a little bit of “Oh who am I kidding, that will never happen.”
I’m walking straight to the pasta salad section that you can take to-go because it’s always Step One on my trip to stock up on expensive shit to eat in my car. Then I hear my name and turn and my poetry teacher is standing behind me. He doesn’t like me. Every one in the class knows it. He’s condescending and rude. I’m a Senior so I don’t even care. I didn’t do anything to him, so there’s nothing I can do. Well he starts talking to me and offers to buy me something and he asks how prom was and I tell him why I’m planning on sitting in my car alone and stuffing my face. So he bought me a little thing of pasta salad and walked with me to the parking lot.
The reason I’m sharing all this is because I’m so amazed I can’t even function. God just answered so many questions for me by answering one superficial prayer.
I ate my pasta and then went home, and I didn’t even have to deal with my mom’s boyfriend because they were in the basement. I got my computer, fed my dog, fed my cat, and went on my merry way without witnessing anything I didn’t feel comfortable with.
Our lesson for today is, God loves you. No matter what. You might not get free pasta today, but One Day You Will (Lady Antebellum)